Dirt swimming around my eyeballs, hands that smell like feet no matter how many times I wash them (I don’t know, my gloves make my hands smell like feet..). My arms are scratched up and raw, throbbing with pain from 8 hours of removing blackberries and other weeds from the fencing surrounding both fields and the seedling area. I can tell I’m going to be sore for the next couple of days. I can already feel it now, a little wobbly and slow and stiff and ow.
I don’t mind working hard, I’m tough and I can handle it. I like it even. Being outside, moving my body, taking care of business. What I do mind, though, is the way our boss treated us this afternoon.
And here is the rant: I worked my ass off all day, and I honestly believe that I worked as hard as possible and as quickly as possible. By the last 2 hours I was moving a little slower, but let me remind you that I am a human being, and that as a non-robot I cannot pull weeds at a constant speed for 8 hours straight. Bodies get tired, bodies need rest. It’s a silly thing about bodies, they’re not inexhaustible! Our last task for the day was to weed around the inside and outside of the seedling area fencing, probably a 20-30 by 30-40ft area. We were told to remove the weeds and their roots, and we were also told that 1.5 hours should be enough time to finish. The fencing was covered in a sea of blackberry thornage with roots that had obviously been given a couple years to mature, and grass that when I tried to pull said, “Nope. Here, you can take off a couple inches from the top, but these roots are antiques, I’d prefer to hold on to them.”
So, do I sacrifice being thorough for finishing fast, or do I sacrifice finishing for being thorough?? How about I just fill my mind with anxious thoughts and try to do both while attempting to accept the fact that either way, I’m totally going to get yelled at for doing neither? Fast forward to the last 15 minutes, when our fabulous boss comes to check on us, and is instantly repulsed by how much we have left to do.
her- “That’s all you did in an hour and a half??”
me- “yes.” (crying inside.)
her- “Last year in a day we did all that you’ve done today AND [another fence and another fence], so I’m not being unreasonable to expect you to get this done.”
I think what that translates to is that we totally suck? I think that’s what you’re telling us? Way to motivate your employees!
Oh well. Just 5 more days of this endurance race. In the meantime, the stars are out and looking magnificent. And the moon is blowing my mind. And I am so happy that I have made it to another weekend. Human beings are capable of greatness if you believe in them a little. I think it’s way past my bedtime though. xo